So as of yesterday, it seems that I am 32 weeks along now.
My baby newsletter tells me that he weighs about 3.75 pounds, not a surprise, I feel his movements growing stronger everyday. For the most part he enjoys staying under my ribcage, sometimes he'll move down though and kick at my bladder, fun.
Still nauseous. And nearly everything gives me heartburn.
I went to the medicaid office last week to apply but I didn't have the 'proof of pregnancy' with me so they told me that I needed to come back and they will me a list of what I need in the mail. I got the letter the day before yesterday, I need to go back in before the 15th. That same day I also obtained a driving permit, though I don't have anyone to drive with me anyway.
I'm not going to lie though, I'm struggling. It feels like every emotion I've ever repressed comes out every day. I'm so vulnerable and I can't stand it.
I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with nausea still and heartburn :(
ReplyDeleteThe emotion thing... hormones, of course. But, believe me, once you're holding that sweet, precious baby, you'll REALLY feel the emotion!!! LOL Even though you pretty much raised some of your siblings, it's a way different feeling once you give birth :)
I think its a great idea that you're blogging about this. I've always kept a diary/journal/now a blog throughout my life (from like 10 yrs old) and it helped me sort my ideas and emotions out :) I may not have kept a daily one and even went years without; but, that was only when I didn't need it :D
Love you Arielle! You're doing great and sooner than you know, you'll be holding your sweet daughter/son :D
Yeah, even though you 'pretty much raised some of your siblings...' but, anyway, emotions aren't JUST hormones, they are adjustments to the new life you are creating, as in the new baby AND the new circumstances. Your old 'single' life will be over and your life as a mom, will continue from now on, in this reality.
ReplyDeleteYour body is preparing you emotionally for the bonding and overall mothering experience, plus, we know how important emotions have been in your life - lol
Emotions are good - it's what makes life worth living. So, maybe, your shield is evaporating, like a deaf person who can suddenly hear. Those emotions were there all along, you are now open to experiencing them. The baby is already your teacher ~ Mom